A lot of my friends who aren’t married often say to me, “marriage isn’t that hard, is it?” My response is always a quick laugh and a “you have no idea”. It happens so often that I figured one day I’d write an article about it. And, I guess today is that day. Let me tell you about how different and hard marriage really is.
“You’ll cry for you spouse and you’ll pray
for them like you’ve never cried or prayed before.”
You go from living together but separately to living and loving wholly as one. Something you might’ve thought you were already doing, but you weren’t. You won’t notice it right away, but life will change and it will change you both. You’ll face obstacles you never planned on facing. You’ll see your spouse inevitably hit some sort of low and you’ll realize that it isn’t just their low, it’s yours too. You’ll learn how to fight as one but it’ll take some time and maybe even a few rough nights. You’ll cry for you spouse and you’ll pray for them like you’ve never cried or prayed before. But, that’s not all. You will also start to laugh louder than you’ve ever laughed. You will argue about who is the better cook and end up ordering Chinese because takeout tastes better and neither of you felt like cooking anyway. You will look over to see them smiling like an idiot at their phone or the TV and you’ll wonder how there was ever a time before them. You will fight about petty things and big things. Despite the fact that everyone at your wedding told you not to, you may go to sleep angry or frustrated some nights. Your spouse will teach you everything you need to know about courage and bravery in the face of fear and uncertainty. You will travel, make memories all over the place, and then reminisce about it all while cuddling in bed on Sunday mornings. You will get off of work after 15hrs, maybe or maybe not smelling like beer and sweat, and they will help carry you inside because your legs hurt. You will learn about how strong love can be and you’ll use that strength to hold each other up day after day because that’s what you vowed to do.
So, yeah. Marriage is hard. It’s actually really hard. I am not the perfect wife and Adam is not the perfect husband. We put work into this thing every single day. Because that’s what it takes, work.
“Marriage may be hard but loving my husband never has been.”
But, I will tell you something else. I looked through our wedding album this morning and started crying. Not because we’re almost two years out or because it’s harder than I thought it’d be, but because I realized that that was the day I truly started living. Marriage may be hard but loving my husband never has been. Not even for a second. I don’t mind the work or the fact that you take the good times with the bad. I want to spend the rest of my life living up to the things I vowed to him almost two years ago. You can take that to the bank.
*photo by: jensen rae photography